Science agrees that 9 am starts are torture

We’ve always known it but now it’s official; starting work at 9 am is tantamount to torture, and a sleep expert has the science to prove it.

Dr Paul Kennedy, from the Sleep and Circadian Institute at Oxford University, believes that the traditional 9 to 5 is creating a sleep deprived society, and it’s not just a problem in Britain.

“This is an international issue. Everybody is suffering and they don’t have to,” Dr Kennedy told Yahoo News. “Sleep deprivation is a torture. Thirty days without sleep and you die. It has about the same effect as not eating.”

The problem with the 9am start, says Kennedy, is that the body’s natural pattern – our circadian rhythm – doesn’t fit with the typical working day.

Most people actually can’t focus on their work properly until a few hours later, and the constant cycle of sleep depriving early starts means that we don’t actually catch up on that deficit until the age of 55.

“It is hugely damaging on the body’s systems because you are affecting physical, emotional and performance systems in the body,” says Kennedy.

“Your liver and your heart have different patterns and you’re asking them to shift two or three hours. Staff should start at 10am. You don’t get back to [the 9am] starting point until 55.” 

“Staff are usually sleep-deprived. We’ve got a sleep-deprived society.”
SOURCE - stylist.co.uk

5 things to avoid looking unprofessional

Coming across as unprofessional is the last thing one would want to be. Here are some tips that can help you avoid the same:

- Have you heard of the 'expectation hurts' phrase? That is exactly what would be termed as optimism bias or being unrealistically optimistic. Assuming that there is a lesser chance for one to be at risk than others leads them to believe that they can afford to be more laidback and they often start taking the safe route. This could make one look unprofessional.

- Words matter. While actions speak louder than words, you should still mind your words. Do not use bad words at work place - whether you are using it just like that or are frustrated - it shows employees in a bad light.

- Never hide things at your work place. It is good to be transparent in your communications. That way, you have nothing to hide and your communication with your colleagues and your seniors remains unaffected.

- Do not run away from responsibilities. A responsible employee is not only the most sought after, but also tends to be more successful at his/her work. On the contrary, do not overpromise, too, if you cannot accomplish it.

- Leering could make you look like a creep and interactions with those from the opposite sex become difficult. You'll be in the radar for all the wrong reasons, of course.

How to decorate your home with mirrors

How to decorate your home with mirrors (Getty Image)

If mirrors fascinate you more than anything, here's how using mirrors differently can make your home look playful and classy at the same time. 

Mirrors as art work
Mirrors are not always a utility or random piece of decor that is just only used in wardrobes or dressing tables. Mirrors can be creatively used as artwork at home to lend an artistic look. You can either have a collection of small or different-sized mirrors, hung haphazardly to create an artsy look on the wall. You can also use a single statement mirror on a highlighted wall to add to its charm.

Brighten your living room with a mirror wall
Since, space crunch is something we all face while living in a city like Mumbai, ideas that make the home look spacious are always welcome. Living rooms make for a great place for installing a super-large mirror; especially mirror walls. use one wall in your living room to install a simple wooden frame mirror, to open up the space with the entire reflection of the room. Make sure you use a wall near the window, so that it also reflects enough sunlight to make your home look bigger and brighter.

A mirror cabinet for a bigger looking kitchen
Using a mirror instead of tiles for your kitchen wall against the sink or the platform will help open up a small area. You can also use mirrors as a sliding door for your cabinets so that they do not look like one. Especially if you have an open kitchen, this mirror will help you talk to people in the living area without facing them as well as increase the brightness of the space.

Create optical illusion in the hallway
If you always thought a hallway is something you just just quickly pass by, you got to think again. Adding mirrors to the space will open up the area so that you don't feel confined within it. If you creatively place them, they can also serve as hallway utilities, like the ones here. Drawers and cabinets with mirror doors in the hallway can make the home look lively and colourful, as they would reflect everything around it. No to mention, you can always stop by to have a good look at yourself while passing.

A statement mirror at the dining area
Now, you would ask why do we need a mirror in the dining area? We say, why not? As mentioned before, mirrors are not just an utility, its a style statement. Using a statement mirror with a beautifully carved wooden or metal with filigree worked frame on one of the walls of your dining space, will add to the motif of the room without taking away from the more interesting things, like food. Although an attention-getter, the mirror will only enhance the look of your enclosed dining area.

30 and single? Who cares!

A recent report says that if you are 30 and still single, you need to change your dating patterns. We say, turn a deaf ear...
So what if you haven't found anyone worth committing to it yet? And so what, if you've turned 30 and still enjoy being solo. Let alone dating patterns, don't let this change anything since love will find you anyway, even through imperfections. And should anyone make you feel miserable for being single at 30, here are some reasons to make you smile:


Getting married early maybe cool, but for most people these days, 20's are all about getting careers sorted, travelling, enjoying life and getting to know themselves. In fact, a lot of people don't find enough time to date amidst all this (especially fulfilling career goals), so it makes sense if marriage happens after all that, so you have a lot of time to enjoy pure marital bliss.

ये बातें सोचने से बचें, इनसे नहीं मिलता कुछ फायदा

ये बातें सोचने से बचें, इनसे नहीं मिलता कुछ फायदा

दूसरे आपके बारे में क्या सोच रहे हैं, इस बात के बारे में सोचते हुआ आप अपना पूरा जीवन गुज़ार सकते हैं, लेकिन फायदा कुछ नहीं होगा। आप जहां है, वहीं के वहीं रह जाएंगे। इसलिए दूसरे क्या सोच रहे हैं, इस बात की चिंता से बाहर आने के लिए यहां बताई जा रही कुछ बातों को याद रखें..
ये बातें सोचने से बचें, इनसे नहीं मिलता कुछ फायदा

ये बातें सोचने से बचें, इनसे नहीं मिलता कुछ फायदा

ये बातें सोचने से बचें, इनसे नहीं मिलता कुछ फायदा

SOURCE - http://religion.bhaskar.com/news/JM-SEHE-self-help-tips-about-thinking-5106264-PHO.html?seq=4

रिश्तों में आ रही बोरियत को इन 5 तरीकों से कर सकते हैं दूर

शादीशुदा हो या किसी रिलेशनशिप में हो, खुश रहना और पार्टनर को भी खुश रखना आपका फर्ज होता है। बहुत सी ऐसी बातें होती हैं जो कभी आपको नहीं पसंद होती हैं तो कभी पार्टनर को। इन बातों का बतंगड़ बनाने की अपेक्षा उन्हें नजरअंदाज करने की कोशिश करनी चाहिए। एक-दूसरे की आदतों में ढ़ालकर ही रिश्तों की गाड़ी को आगे बढ़ाया जा सकता है। लंबे समय से रिश्तों में चल रही बोरियत को कुछ इन तरीकों से दूर किया जा सकता है।

साथ बिताएं समय

अगर आप किसी रिलेशनशिप में हैं तो आप दोनों का ही फर्ज बनता है एक-दूसरे के लिए वक्त निकालें। वीक डे में मिलना पॉसिबल न हो तो वीकएंड्स में मिलने का प्लान करें। नयी जगहों पर घूमने, रेस्‍टोरेंट में खाना खाने और साथ मूवी देखकर आपसी प्यार और समझदारी को बढ़ने का मौका दें।

साथी की बातों पर ध्‍यान दें

रिलेशनशिप के प्यार और अपनेपन को बरकरार रखने के लिए साथी की बातों को ध्‍यान से सुनना जरूरी है इससे एक-दूसरे की फिलिंग्स का पता चलता है। अपने खास होने का अहसास होता है।

हर बात ध्यान रखें

अपने साथी की छोटी-छोटी बातों का ध्‍यान रखें, उसे अहसास दिलाएं कि हर सुख-दुख में आप हमेशा उनके साथ है। साथी के परेशान होने पर उसका कारण जानने की कोशिश करें, उसकी परेशानी को दूर करने की पूरी कोशिश करें।

पसंद का ख्याल

अपने साथी की पसंद-नापसंद का पूरा ख्‍याल रखें। खाना से लेकर कपड़ों, मूड सबका ख्याल रखकर आप उनके और करीब जा सकेंगे। घूमना और शॉपिंग लगभग सारी महिलाओं को पसंद होता है तो मेल पार्टनर के पास अच्छा ऑप्शन होता है तो वहीं फीमेल पार्टनर के पास मूवी दिखाने या मैच दिखाने का अच्छा ऑप्शन होता है।

तोहफा दें

रिश्तों में आ रही बोरियत को इन 5 तरीकों से कर सकते हैं दूर

किसी भी रिश्‍ते में 'तोहफा' खास मायने रखते हैं। तोहफा बड़ा हो या छोटा उतना मायने नहीं रखता। खासकर महिलाओं को गिफ्ट बहुत पसंद आते हैं। बर्थडे, एनिवर्सिरी से हटकर भी कभी कोई गिफ्ट या सरप्राइज गिफ्ट दें। यकीन मानिए बहुत ज्यादा पसंद आएगा।


7 tips for a happy marriage

Even though we all hope our marriage will last forever, a third of marriages end in divorce, according to the Australian Bureau of Statistics. “Tough spots will always occur - one partner might get sick, get the sack, or need to attend to a dying parent,” says psychologist Meredith Fuller, explaining that every union will go through happy and hard times. A long-lasting marriage needs commitment, good communication and a good dose of love and affection. Try these seven tips for a happy marriage:

Create your own rituals

It could be as simple as making your husband a coffee in the morning while he lets you lie in at the weekend. Whatever you choose, a ‘couples’ ritual is a way to connect with your partner in the madness of a busy life. “The comfort of little rituals are trust giving, safety maintaining, and love enhancing – these things help us get through the day in the outside world,” says Meredith. “If your partner says they love you and demonstrates that with consistent gestures, you can believe it.”

Learn to communicate

If you or your hubby is a poor communicator, don’t just put up with it, says Meredith - being able to talk openly with your partner is a sign of a strong marriage. “Develop your skills – go to classes, read books, observe good communicators and interview them about technique, ask for feedback, practice,” she advises. “Communication skills enhance all areas of your life – home and work. Get cracking – no excuses.”

Money matters

We usually handle money in the same way as our family did, and often assume our way is best. Not so, says Meredith, who advises discussing your views on paying bills, saving and credit cards before you tie the knot. “You need to come up with the new blended way you both will do things. It’s easy to have a major joint account where you both must tell each other what you do, and a slush fund minor private account each where you can be yourself without having to justify what you spend.”
Respect and affection are deal breakers

Small gestures matter - if you want your marriage to last, keep reminding each other that you love each other and nurture your relationship with kind words. “You need to treat each other preciously – not for granted,” says Meredith. “Some people say ‘I love you’, and some people will show ‘I love you’ – make sure that your partner understands your message, and work out what you both need then try to accommodate each other.”

Adultery and jealousy are different things

No matter how hard a marriage may seem at times, and while having affair might be exciting, almost everyone involved - children included – are destined to be harmed. “Either you are in or out – never humiliate your partner by duplicity,” says Meredith. “On the other hand, if your partner is jealous, and there is no reason for this, nip it in the bud. It is not cute or sweet, it is inappropriate, and can lead to violence. Get help. See a counsellor, and explore the past and work on this.”

Make room for sex

If you and your hubby’s libidos are matched evenly, don’t worry if sex takes a back seat on having kids. If one wants more nookie than the other, however, Meredith advises making room for sex in a busy schedule. “That might mean getting enough rest and sleep the night before, cancelling any other commitments, getting the kids minded, turning off your phones and computers, and doing nice things to each other,” she says. “Think about what the other person wants, not just what you feel like giving. So, ask them, take it in turns and take your time.” She adds that it’s perfectly normal for sex to fall of the menu when kids come into the mix. “Sometimes you just have to hang in there because one of you is dog tired. It wont be dreadful forever - but if the drought goes on for too long, seek some assistance.”

Put your marriage first

Meredith adds that having a happy marriage means being prepared to take turns with life’s stages. “You can still work towards your goals, but maybe they will take longer to achieve, because right now you choose to help your husband study for a post grad course, or delay moving interstate so he can care for his elderly father.” And, for those bored with their partner, she says slow and steady beats the highs and lows of an anxious passion anytime. “There are two aspects that glue lovers together in the long term: like and respect.”


Does marriage counselling actually work? Here's what we know

Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner

Ben Affleck and his wife, Jennifer Garner, have often been in the news in the past few months for their decision to file for divorce after 10 years of marriage. But to everyone’s surprise, the couple was seen walking into a marriage counselling centre on September 3. This lead to speculations about whether the duo had decided to work on their marriage. Closer home, Kangana Ranaut and R Madhavan’s on-screen characters, too, sought the help of a therapist in the film, Tanu Weds Manu Returns.

But the question remains, does counselling actually work for couples who face marital issues? Can it save a marriage? We try to find out.Growing trendFor multiple generations, couples in India opted to keep quiet, rather than discuss “private matters” with strangers. Parents, friends, extended family and relatives were typically approached to sort out differences, if any.

However, times are changing. If experts are to be believed, more and more youngsters are visiting professional counsellors to save their marriages.

“The number of people showing up for marriage counselling is rising. One of the reasons is that many people, these days, marry without their parents’ consent. So, going back to them, and asking for a solution is not an option,” says Kinjal Pandya, marriage counsellor. 

Timing matters

There are several stressors in a marriage. These could range from, work-related issues to incompatibility problems, and even unrealistic expectations from each other. To make the most of a professional intervention, timing matters. Experts, in fact, admit that acknowledging that you need help early on can go a long way in saving your marriage when you opt for counselling.

And some individuals have benefitted from this. Nimish Gupta, 29, an HR consultant, married Karishma Gupta, 27 also in HR, two years ago. But within six months, the couple started having problems due to unrealistic expectations and commitment issues.

There are several stressors in a marriage. These could range from, work-related issues to incompatibility problems, and even unrealistic expectations from each other. (Shutterstock Image)

A friend suggested that the couple visit a marriage counsellor. Nimish says, “Even after marriage, I used to give a lot of importance to my friends. I would party with them almost daily and not give enough time to my wife. On the other hand, my wife wanted me to be dedicated to her. Counselling helped both of us find a middle path. Now, we are happily married.”

Neeta V Shetty, psychotherapist and relationship coach at Blissful Mind Therapy Centre, adds, “Because of low awareness, people in India go for counselling only as a last resort. But there are multiple reasons why marriages don’t work. It could be due to psychological, parental or stress-related issues, and these need to be addressed swiftly.”

Facing the truth

Marriage counselling is not only about saving marriages. It also involves helping you do what is right. Mahendra Asher, 35, who owns a finance company, was married to Nilanjana Lakhani, 28, a make-up artist, for three years.

“I was possessive about my wife. I had serious trust issues. I used to think that she was cheating on me. After a point, my wife got tired of my behaviour and decided to file for divorce. I went to a counsellor to save my marriage, but I was advised to get divorced. Today, I’m happy with my decision,” says Mahendra. 

For some others, it may not work because you are beyond the point of return. Sean D’Silva, 33, who works for a shipping company, and Joanna D’Silva, 30, a school teacher, were married for five years.

Their problems started three years ago, and the couple wanted to file for divorce in 2014. As a last option, the duo went to see a marriage counsellor. “We went for marriagecounselling sessions for about six months, and it didn’t work in our favour. The issues that we had continued,” says Sean. He and Joanna are currently separated, and stay with their respective parents. 
(Names of all individuals have been changed on request)

SOURCE - hindustan times

More and more men and women opting for gender-specific foods

More and more men and women are opting for gender-specific foods to delay ageing physically, as well as the onset of menopause and andropause. (Illustration: Ravi Jadhav)

Dr Caroline Apovian, director of the nutrition and weight management centre at Boston Medical Center, USA, in her new book, The Age-Defying Diet, talks about how consuming certain foods can help you look young for longer than usual. Experts in India, too, agree that by addressing the dwindling levels of hormones (oestrogen for women, and testosterone for men), with the right kind of diet, it is indeed possible to slow down the process of ageing. 

“Some foods can boost oestrogen and testosterone levels. Thereby, they play a crucial role in how we age. However, the key to maximise the effect of these foods, is to not wait until you turn 50, in order to start eating them. You need to incorporate the items in your diet in moderate amounts earlier in life,” says Dr Pradeep Gadge, consultant endocrinologist, Breach Candy Hospital, Breach Candy.

Eat right, stay young
Gender-specific foods help balance your hormones. Although, this concept is relatively new, it is slowly gaining popularity among nutritionists the world over. It targets the different nutritional requirements of men and women, with respect to the different phases of their lives. “The role that food plays in ageing is an interesting one. Though ageing is genetically programmed, we also age due to internal and external factors like hormones, stress, nutrition, smoking, pollution, sun-exposure, etc. Gender-based food can help slow down the process of ageing,” says Dr Apratim Goel, dermatologist and laser surgeon, Cutis Skin Studio, Bandra (W).

Delaying menopause 
The onset of menopause is largely governed by one’s genetic make-up, and there is only a limited amount of control one can exercise over it. Since menopause is marked by the reduced levels of oestrogen in a woman’s body, the concept of gender-specific foods, in this case, involves consuming natural items that contain phytoestrogen. Doing so can potentially help delay menopause, and also assist women deal with menopausal symptoms a little better.

This also works for men, who undergo the lesser-known andropause or ‘manopause’. As men age, the testosterone in their bodies actually starts getting converted to oestrogen, leading to many behavioural changes. In this case too, by eating foods that can help boost the production of testosterone, the ageing process can be slackened.

Maintaining weight
When we are young, we can eat just about anything, and get away with it, thanks to our body’s metabolism rate. However, as one crosses the age of 25, it becomes quite hard to burn body fat because of the decelerated rates of testosterone and oestrogen production. 

With age, the changes in the sex hormone levels of both men and women are associated with changes in body fat distribution. While women of childbearing age tend to store fat in their lower bodies (pear-shaped), older men and postmenopausal women tend to put on weight around their abdomens (apple-shaped).

In women, lower levels of oestrogen can also make them feel more hungry and lethargic. The result? They tend to put on weight easily. So, by eating in a way that helps balance the hormones, it becomes easier to stay in shape.

— With inputs from Carlyne Remedios, senior nutritionist, Center Of Obesity And Digestive Surgery, Gamdevi and Kanchan Patwardhan, clinical nutritionist consultant, Arogya Hospital, Thane.

SOURCE - hindustan times